It was four years ago yesterday that I saw for the last time, the last man who broke my heart.

I’m sure in a sports blog, that got your attention.

But to love me is to accept my love of sports.  They’re almost one and the same.  I was lucky enough to find someone who “got” me and my love for sports.  Or “got” me, period.

What I learned about that ending is that I was able to question what I would do in the name of love.

But that heartbreak led me to wonder just how desperate I was to be loved, and what I was willing to accept, or take as a result.

It’s not much different, my love for sports, and what I am willing to accept and take as a sports fan.

And that’s why that no matter what happens, I am perfectly okay with not having hockey this year.

I mentioned in my last post, Make Love, Not War, that I had just finished watching a retrospective on the New York Rangers’ 1993-94 championship run.  During Game Seven, the fans cheered so loud, you could not hear John Amirante singing O Canada and Star Spangled Banner.

It made me realize something.  I’ve been waiting since I was 10 years old to see a World Series championship parade, and since I was 18 for a Stanley Cup celebration.  I’m more fortunate than others, I suppose, that I could see championships from my teams in my lifetime.

Yet while I watched the video, and remembered watching the game in 1994, you can hear the passion, you can feel the FIRE of a Ranger fan.  By drowning out the singing of the National Anthem, you just know how wild and fiery these fans are.

You know what else was special about that season?

It was a full one.

That’s why I just want the hockey season to be called off now.  Kaput.  Finished.  Fuck it all.  I mean, why bother?  We know for a fact that no games will be played anyway till after January 14th.  If they are played.

The Winter Classic = Cancelled.  The All-Star Game = Cancelled.  What makes the playoffs so fucking special?

Who needs a playoff taint?  (No, Señor Solly, not THAT kind of “Taint”).

And if I ask why should they play playoff games, why even bother with the season?

How much a regular season is going to be played, should a decision be agreed upon – a little over two months?

Then it begs the question — whoever wins, won’t it be a tainted win?

Is there a point?  Do we want hockey that bad?

No one wants hockey back more than I do.  I’ve felt a void like no other because the season has not started.  But to bring it back if an agreement is made is a slap in the face to everyone.  I get that no one is paid unless the games are played.  But why bother even playing them?  It’s not a *real* season, and won’t even have a semblance of one.  It will be a drive by, a skate by, whatever you want to call it.  It won’t be the same till they play a full season.

So let’s go back to what I was willing to accept a long time ago, the last time my heart was broken.  In less than a year, I met the man I was going to marry, someone who has supported me through thick and thin ever since, especially in this last year, when things got very dark.

I miss hockey.

But if these assholes couldn’t get their shit together prior to the season, why should they do it now?  Just cut their losses, and go for it in 2013-14.

I, for one, don’t want a tainted season.